What to Do When Your Cat Dies

What to Do When Your Cat Diesにまつわる役立つ知識を分かりやすく発信ます。

Thirty minutes post-passing, a well-meaning friend will say: “You should adopt another one!” Ignore them. They are agents of chaos who don’t understand that a new cat isn’t a replacement battery for your emotional Roomba. New cats smell like strangers and will judge your furniture choices.

Instead, wait a full week. Play the depressing game of “What would my cat want?” The answer is: more treats, but eternal ones. You can’t buy those at Petco. So, you honor their memory by leaving a single, unopened can of Fancy Feast on the shelf like a tiny shrine to missed meal times.

What to Do When Your Cat Dies (& How to Cope With Your Loss) - YouTube

Fun fact: In Japan, there’s a temple full of cat mummies. Yes, real mummies. You could ship your cat there, but the paperwork is worse than filing taxes for a small business. Save that energy for crying into your third glass of wine.

How to Actually Dispose of a Dead Cat (Legally)

Option one: Cremation. The vet will offer this for the price of a small car. You get back a box of “cat dust.” Pro tip: Do not sniff the ashes. It smells like burned regret and ambition, not your precious furball. Some places offer a “witnessed cremation” where you watch. That’s weird. Don’t do that.

Option two: Burial. Check local laws because burying a cat in the park near the swing set is a Class C misdemeanor in most states. Also, dig deep. Raccoons are opportunistic little bastards who will turn your memorial into a Saturday night snack bar. A two-foot hole is not a grave; it’s a buffet.

Option three: Taxidermy. I’m contractually obligated to tell you this exists. But please, ask yourself: “Do I want a glass-eyed version of Mittens staring at me while I fold laundry?” The answer should be “no” unless you enjoy sleep paralysis with a side of static fur.