Who Is Going in the Jungle 2026

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First up, let’s talk about the inevitable soap star. Every jungle needs a person who has survived a murderous twin, a coma, and a wedding explosion. For 2026, whispers suggest it’s Danny Dyer, fresh off a retirement from shouting at people in the market. Imagine him trying to explain Brexit to a spider—it’ll be pure, unfiltered poetry.

Then there’s the Love Island contestant who “found themselves” after the show. My money is on a gem like Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu, because her dramatic gasps could be heard from outer space. She will treat a cockroach as a personal betrayal and a Bushtucker Trial as a Broadway audition. The nation will either love or scream at her, and there is no in-between.

The Wild Card: The “I’m Just Here for the Money” Athlete

Surprising Fact: A former Premier League footballer is almost confirmed, but not the one you want. Think less David Beckham and more a bloke who got relegated three times. Joey Barton? Unlikely, but hilarious to imagine. He’d spend the first week arguing with a tree about tactics.

But a more likely candidate is a retired Olympic swimmer who hasn’t eaten a carb since 2012. They will be utterly useless at everything except holding their breath when a tarantula walks by. Watching an athlete’s ego deflate under a palm tree is the spiritual nourishment we all crave.