Police Arrested a Woman After a Car Hit Pedestrians

Police Arrested a Woman After a Car Hit Pedestriansに関する最新のニュースを速報でお届けします。関心のある方は必見です。

Thankfully, the injured pedestrians are expected to recover, and they’ve already become local legends. One victim, a retiree named Linda, told news crews she’s “just glad it wasn’t a bus.” Another guy, who broke his ankle, joked he finally has an excuse to skip leg day. Moral of the story: being hit by a car is a terrible fitness hack.

Conway woman arrested after she allegedly hit pedestrian, laughed

Hospital staff reported that the most common injury was “bruised pride.” One patient insisted on being treated by a doctor named after a ninja turtle. When he didn’t get one, he demanded a discount on his copay. The hospital declined, citing a “no-turtle policy.”

The Arrest: A Dramatic Replay

Police bodycam footage (which has since gone viral) shows the woman arguing that her car “just wanted to meet the pedestrians.” She claimed the vehicle had “a mind of its own.” This is, of course, a terrible defense, unless the car is a Transformer named Bumblebleep. The officer on scene, with the patience of a kindergarten teacher, calmly explained that cars do not, in fact, have feelings. Then he handcuffed her, probably while sighing internally.

Here’s a surprising fact: did you know that in many states, a sudden sneeze is not considered a valid excuse for vehicular manslaughter? Neither did I, but now we know. Another fact: the average person sneezes at about 100 miles per hour. Which means, technically, that lady’s sneeze was faster than the car she was driving. Physics is weird, folks.

1 Dead, Multiple Others Injured After SUV Plows Into Pedestrians