Invaded by Fruit Flies
You will never fully win the war. The moment you relax, a single, heroic fly will find a forgotten lemon rind behind your fridge. That fly will then call its friends, and you’re back to square one. It’s a cycle of life, death, and cheap cider vinegar.
My advice? Laugh at the absurdity. Name the biggest one. Accept that your kitchen is now a shared universe. And if all else fails, lie to your guests. Tell them they’re Drosophila simulans, a rare, exotic species from Madagascar. They won’t know the difference. They’ll just back away slowly, which is the point. Stay strong, comrade. The fruit flies are watching.