How to Find out My Venus Sign

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To find your Venus sign, you need three things: your birth date, birth time, and birthplace. That’s right—the same info your stalker would use. Don’t panic; you can totally fudge the birth time if you don’t know it. But accuracy is like a good burrito: it makes everything better. If you were born at 11:58 PM but guess noon, your Venus might be wrong, and you’ll spend years explaining why you’re secretly in love with spreadsheets when you’re actually a hopeless romantic. Don’t be that person.

Call your mom. She knows. She remembers the exact minute you arrived because she counted every contraction. Text her: “Hey, what time did I ruin your life? Love you.”

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